I'm not sure if that means that the whole brand has to be new, or the product in question needs to be new to the brand, or if it's as new as a cow I've just bought from the livestock market that needs red-hot poker-style branding to deter those pesky rustlers.
Speaking of which, microwavable (not loving that word) ham/chicken/pork burgers are truly criminal. Also, what are you supposed to do with the bun, microwave it? Toast it separately? Do you put the sauce on first? Although many of these convenience hot snacks are advertised as "delicious in two minutes," "in your belly within 90 seconds" and "guaranteed satisfaction in under a minute" the planning/contemplation time, pausing after burning your mouth on napalm-hot tomato ketchup and subsequent hours of vomiting often stretch the limits of your employer-defined lunch break. Not that anyone eating those snacks actually gets beyond the "job-seeking" stage. Furthermore, imagine (if you will) the silent disparagment you would receive from your edamame-eating collegues should you walk the office floor with a damp-bunned twice-cooked meat-like patty in your fat, asbestos-sausage-fingered hand.
Right, this wasn't the blogging beginning I was hoping for. Actually I rather wanted to investigate the solitary existence of the general blogger who tosses his (or her, but I do tend towards the generic masculine third person) words into the world in the vain hope that someone is listening. But they're not listening. Those people who you hoped were listening are busy tossing their own worthless experiences into the online world. That's if they can actually be bothered to blog, as you can "tweet" your pointlessness much more quickly and efficiently. And you get to spell stuff inventively. And you can communicate with celebrities. And when you die everyone will RIP your twitter account and it'll be hilarious. Then someone will set up a tribute page to you on facebook whether or not you killed a few people for pretty hackneyed boring reasons (although it does give the 'papers something to write about other than the bloody water shortage which we have every single year and stops no-one from doing anything with water anyway). Then there'll be further media/public outrage about your tribute page, then someone will create another page as a tribute to the original tribute-page maker. Then everyone will blame the taliban and demand that extremists not be allowed to shackle our right to free-speech by dictating what can and cannot be written in newspapers and online and on tribute pages.... wait a minute.
Anyway, that "got away from me" a bit again. What I'm trying to say is, my blog is different/the same. At times it may be slightly amusing, but that will be mere coincidence. The law of averages (which has never actually been codified in any statute, so works much like the unwritten constitution of this country which allows any piece of wood to be Prime Minister, if it can smile and strike a deal with a similar-looking piece of wood) suggests that if I write enough, some of it will be funny. It's like Friends, officially the funniest TV show that ever happened, because they kept making it.
In the future expect this blog to be based around actual events a bit more with less rambling (unless the event was rambling, but that's unlikely as ramblers make me physically sick - not "physically fit" as in the seminal work of Reel2Real feat. the Mad Stuntman).
Guten abend
